What You Didn't Know
by Fira Wolf-Hunter
Summary: AU. Chou is a girl who just wants to know what Raiden Fukamizu is all about. She has no idea that he is actually L, the greatest detective in the world. Rated M for possible future language/content.
1. Chapter 1

What You Didn't Know

_One_

Chou Kiyomori had had a crush on Raiden Fukamizu for about a month and a half now, and still didn't have the courage to actually go up to him. Well – until today, that is. Working a job and going to college at the same time left little room for personal relationships, but if she could get him to go on just _one_ date with her, that would be good enough. She just needed to know if he was worth it. And if he wasn't, she would move on, no questions asked. It was just that… he was so _odd_.

He always wore the same outfit to the campus, day in and day out. She wondered if he simply did laundry every day, or if he had multiple copies of the same clothes shoved into his closet. He always wore the following: a white long-sleeve, plain, non-buttoned shirt; a pair of Blue Jeans; and a pair of plain black sneakers. And his clothes, minus the shoes, always looked a bit too big for him. They were baggy and frumpy, and hung loosely on him. Then again, that might have had more to do with his skinny form than anything else. He was, after all, quite slim and almost lanky, though Chou didn't like that word… _lanky_. It made him sound unattractive, and that was one thing he was not. He was, in fact, _quite_ attractive, in an _I-just-got-out-of-bed-and-threw-on-some-clothes-and-forgot-to-brush-my-hair_ kind of way. His hair was always unkempt, and his eyes always had shadows beneath them, as if he never got enough sleep. He was also tall, which only added to his list of attractive qualities.

Partly because of his strange appearance, and partly because of his odd mannerisms (which we'll get to eventually), Chou realized one day that, despite having never talked to him one-on-one before, she was attracted to him. If nothing else, he was a puzzle to solve. A very tired-looking, slouching, dead-faced puzzle to solve. A puzzle with an oddly soothing voice, to boot. She had never heard him raise his voice above a barely-audible mumble, and he always sounded as if he were on the verge of a) falling asleep and b) having the greatest epiphany since Einstein's Theory of Relativity. His voice had a breathy quality to it, and he was always pausing at odd times while speaking. And the way he sat…

No matter how many times the professors would tell him to sit correctly in his chair, Chou would always glance over at him and notice that he was sitting with his feet on the chair, knees to his chest. And when he was feeling unusually bold, he'd even take off his sneakers. One time she had passed him sitting on a bench outside and he'd been barefoot. Trying not to make it obvious, she'd slowed down enough to study his feet, and found that there was something funny, and almost monkey-like about them. He had long toes, and she giggled then, imagining him using his toes to pick things up. He'd looked up at her when she'd giggled, and with a blush that had burned her entire face, she given a tiny smile and then hurried away. Other than that, they'd never really conversed outside of class. She had all of one class with him, and wished she had more, because he was quite fascinating.

Once, she'd had to do a group project with him and two others in class and he'd hardly spoken a word the whole time. Every once in a while, he'd call someone out for suggesting something that made no sense, but other than that, he simply sat oddly in his chair and stared past the group and into space. Which was funny, because when it was time to present the final project, he'd done most of the talking, in his flat voice with his deadpan face. Chou, for the life of her, simply could not _figure him out_. Which just made him so… mind-bogglingly _sexy_. It drove her crazy sometimes, trying to imagine what he must be thinking, who he was outside of school, what his family must be like. And she finally realized she'd never find out if she never plucked up the courage to ask him on a date. He didn't seem the type to ask, after all, and she wasn't going to waste her time waiting for him. He probably wasn't even aware of her. He probably wasn't aware of many people, honestly. He seemed off in his own world ninety percent of the time. She didn't expect the date to really go anywhere even if he agreed. She just wanted the chance to ask him questions about himself. That was all.

And so, as he came toward her down the walkway, she gave the biggest smile her shyness would allow, and waved to him. He stopped, looked around, then looked back at her and pointed to himself questioningly. She smiled some more and nodded. He blinked, began walking again, just as slowly as before, his hands stuck in his pockets. To help the process along, Chou began to walk towards him, and they met somewhere in the middle. She looked up into his face, realizing for the first time just how tall he really was. And then blushed and looked away, not knowing where to begin and knowing her question would be quite sudden.

She opened her mouth –

"D'you wanna go get some dinner some time?" Raiden asked, voice as flat as it always was.

Her head snapped up to look at him. She swallowed, brushed a strand of stray hair off of her forehead. Her brows drew together in confusion. She gave a vague smile.

"Sooo… Is that a yes?" he said.

Still confused, she simply looked at him, and then shook herself as his words actually sunk in, and nodded.

"Good. D'you wanna go tonight? Or… does some other time work better for you—

"Tonight is fine," she answered quickly, ignoring the heat in her face. "But… I mean, as long as you don't mind what I'm wearing."

He blinked, and then his eyes looked her up and down slowly, head remaining stationary. His eyes felt like lasers wherever they went, and she felt suddenly quite naked beneath his stare, although he looked just as bored as usual. Eventually, he drawled out the words, "You look fine." The words had a lighter tone to them, as if he was trying to make her feel better.

She smiled, and then gave a sort of shrugging motion, at a loss. "So… are we going now, then? I mean, it's a bit early, but…"

"Why not? I really have nowhere else to be, except sitting in my room by myself staring at a computer screen all night." He gave a faraway smile, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "That sounded a bit depressing. Sorry."

She couldn't help it, and began to giggle. He was just as weird as always, and that put her a bit at ease – to know that he wasn't any different no matter what situation he was in. It made her feel as if she knew him a bit more than she thought she did. He felt more human now somehow. "So where are we going?"

He turned on his heel and began walking down the sidewalk, leading to the parking lot. When she did not immediately follow, he stopped, then slowly turned his head to look at her. Quickly, she caught up to him, and they began walking together.

"I don't normally go out to eat," he said, voice small and calm as usual. "So I don't have anywhere in mind."

"Why did you ask me out?" Chou questioned, quite suddenly, to her own complete surprise. She blushed immediately afterwards and turned her head away from him, and so did not notice right away that he had stopped walking. She turned out of curiosity, to see that he was now a few steps behind her, staring at her as though coming to some kind of decision. His eyes glanced upward at the sky for a long moment, as though deliberating, and then he looked at her again.

"I knew you like me," he said finally.

She blushed, looked at the ground.

"I thought it would be best to at least give this a shot, since I knew you were too shy to ask me."

Now she just felt awkward, like this whole thing was forced. Still looking at the ground, she murmured, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Maybe it'll be fun," he replied, and she looked up just in time to see the tail-end of a tiny smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: One, this is set in an AU (Author's Universe) in which EITHER the events of <em>Death Note<em> the story haven't happened _yet_ OR in which they will _never_ happen. I haven't decided which yet. Two, I never finished watching the anime, so if certain things are incorrect, chalk it up to this being both a fanfiction and an AU. (Every time I get to the episode in which L dies, I stop watching it because it's no longer interesting to me). Three, I write short chapters. I do better writing short chapters. Deal with it. Lastly, I watched the anime in English, not Japanese, so anytime I'm describing L's voice, I am describing his English voice.**

**Reviews are welcome. ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

_Two_

**Chou's POV**

It had been six months since Raiden and I started dating, if you could even call it _dating_. And now I was sitting here in his room for the first time ever, nearly in the dark, with only a computer screen and tableside lamp dimmed to the lowest setting for light. This scene _should_ have been romantic. Instead, Raiden was all business, which is how he often was, in his oddly soft and breathy way.

"If we're going to seriously consider this relationship," he began, voice soothing as always, "then I have to tell you something very important. This will affect our relationship. There's no way around that. In fact, it already _has_ affected our relationship. It is the reason we hardly get to see each other."

I folded my arms across my chest. There was silence. To lessen the tension swelling in my breast, I jokingly said, "You don't work for the CIA, do you?"

"Not quite, but you're on the right track, despite the fact that you were joking just now."

I felt the air escape my lungs loudly, like someone had just punched me in the gut. "You – you _do_ work for the CIA?"

"I said not quite."

"Then what? Who do you work for?"

"Well, no one, really. I work for myself. Because… I'm L." He said these words as if they were commonplace, nothing to be surprised about. I suppose, in _his_ eyes, this information _was_ commonplace. After all, he lived with himself every day.

But _I _didn't live with him every day, and once those two words sunk in, "I'm L," it changed everything.

Slowly, I thought about what this might mean. About what it _already meant_. It explained quite a bit, actually, like the reason why we only saw each other once or twice every three to four weeks, though those times were long and were spent well. I must admit, he was quite involved when he could be. It was just that he couldn't be involved very often, and that had put some doubts into my mind about continuing to draw out our slowly dying relationship. It was probably the reason why he had decided to tell me, or at least, I _hoped_ it was the reason. I hoped it wasn't because he thought I was a liability. Though I had a sickening feeling that that was, at the very least, _part_ of the reason.

That also made sense, but that didn't mean I had to like it. "So what now?" I asked, voice a bit colder than usual. "And why now? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"You know why. You're just angry with me so you don't want to admit it. You know that, as L, I can't go around telling everyone who I am. I have to know that I can trust them first."

"I'm guessing you probably did a background check on me."

"Yes. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, though it's obvious that I couldn't. I had to make sure you weren't a criminal, and that you didn't _know_ any criminals. Partly because I wanted to make sure that you were safe, whether or not I ever told you. I was honestly contemplating never telling you, in case you were questioned about me. There are a lot of people in the world who would love to see me dead. I had to make sure you would be safe if we continued this relationship."

"But that's not the only reason you did the background check."

"Of course not. I had to be sure that _I_ was safe, as well."

"Of course," I said, feeling some of my agitation slip away. He was right, after all. And even though I felt a bit violated, he was _L_. There wasn't much I could do about it. What would I say against it? That it was a violation of rights? L was known for taking drastic measures to solve cases, so why wouldn't he take drastic measures to ensure his, as well as my, safety? I couldn't fault him for it. Not really. "So what happens now?" I asked, repeating my earlier question.

"Now you decide whether you still want to be with me, knowing who I am and that we will probably never be able to get married, if you were thinking that far down the line. Knowing that there will be times when I will be unreachable and unavailable to you. Knowing that I won't always be able to be around you. That I might pack up and leave at any time – not because I want to, but because I have to."

As he spoke, and continued speaking, I felt tears well up in my eyes, and hugged my arms to my chest even tighter. We hadn't spent much time together, as average couples went, but I knew without a doubt that I had feelings for him. So the idea that he might suddenly have to disappear, that we would never really have all that much time as a couple, that we could never get married even if we wanted to… It broke my heart to think about all that. Much to my own embarrassment, my arms unfolded themselves, my hands covered my face, and I gave a loud sob before completely breaking down. I suppose you could say I attach to people too quickly. It's something I've always been guilty of, and it only made this situation so much harder.

Of course, Raiden – L – had decided to tell me, which meant he must have loved me. Or at least felt _something_ for me. And then there he was, having gotten up from his chair at the desk to sit on the edge of the bed with me. I fell unceremoniously against him, into his lap, and he made a noise of surprise before relaxing and laying a hand on my head. I had curled into a ball at this point, hands still covering my face. He said nothing as I continued crying, though his fingers ran themselves lightly through my hair, and this calmed me a bit. I realized that he might have been purposefully over-dramatic to get the point across. That seemed like something he would do, especially now that I knew he was L. He might have been trying to scare me a little, to see how loyal I was to him.

I sat up, scrubbed at my eyes, hiccupped. "I'm staying," I said stubbornly, though my voice trembled as I suddenly felt a fresh wave of tears coming over me. I blinked them away furiously. "I'm staying," I repeated.

He gave a tiny smile, which was something I had grown accustomed to over the months, and then his deadpan expression came back. "You'll have to sign a contract, stating that you will not, under any circumstances, including torture or threat of death, tell anyone who I am."

"That sounds a bit… extreme," I muttered, eyeing him.

"It needs to be."

"And what about _my_ safety?"

"That contract is for _your _safety as well as mine, though I can, if you wish, also have you guarded at all times."

"You can _do_ that?" I asked incredulously, and then shook my head. "What am I saying? Of course you can. You're L – Wait." A thought had just occurred to me. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"I was waiting for you to ask me to that, so I compiled a folder for you. It consists of documentations from all of the cases I have solved over the years. Obviously, some things had to be taken out, as much of it is confidential, but I hope it will be enough."

He got up and went to the desk, picking up a big black binder, and then turned and handed it to me. It was heavy, and was _stuffed_ with information. At first, I was going to ask him, _"What about the things you had to take out?"_ And then I opened it and saw that nearly half the writing on all of the paper had been blacked out. I laughed, flipping through the pages. Although some part of me was curious about everything in that binder, I didn't have the patience to read through it at the moment, and instead let it drop heavily onto the bed next to me.

"Okay," I said. "I believe you. You're L."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: This story has no central plot at the moment while I try to figure things out in my head. Therefore, it will probably jump around in time <em>a lot<em> and will probably go back and forth between first and third person. I actually like writing stories this way better. I hate being linear. It's so boring. Reviews are welcome! ^_^**


	3. Chapter 3

_Three_

After his spontaneous confession of being L, my relationship with Raiden – whom I would probably always call _Raiden_ simply because, to me, that was his name – became surprisingly _better_. And not just surprising _because_ it was better. Surprising in that he offered to let me live with him, wherever he might live at any given time. Often, he went from hotel room to hotel room every few nights, spanning from city to city in Japan. One night Tokyo, another night Sendai, the next Kyoto. He could be miles and miles away from his previous night's stay in a matter of hours, and remained a bit mysterious because of it. I wondered if, due to his status, he was allowed to break traffic laws in order to get to places faster. I never asked, though. I knew he probably wouldn't tell me, or he'd tell me and then smile so I wouldn't know whether he was being honest.

Of course, he himself didn't drive. He had a chauffer to do that for him, an old man named only Watari, who he said had been with him since he was a child. And that was all he'd say about him. Even though our relationship became better as we started living together, there were still many things about him I didn't know about. He was just a quiet person, probably with a past he didn't enjoy speaking of, let alone think about. I learned to stop asking, and just wait for the times when he actually felt like talking. Often those times were late at night as we lay there, me feeling sleepy and ready for a night's rest, and he simply lying in wait for me to fall asleep so that he could rise from the bed and go back to the computer. He suffered from insomnia, which explained the shadows beneath his eyes. Every time he actually _did_ sleep, I made sure to be quiet as a mouse, and if he was lying beside me, I didn't dare move, and barely breathed. He slept so little it seemed a crime to wake him when his body finally exhausted itself. And when he was asleep… it was the only time he really looked peaceful. His face would relax and I would find myself staring at him as a sudden smile would grace his lips, and he would sigh with contentment and relax into the bed. I think it was just because his body was so happy to have fallen asleep.

I learned that he was good at cooking – and not just sweets, which is what I would have thought. Apparently, cooking soothed him, and helped him think – or stop thinking, if that's what he wished. And he was good at making all _kinds_ of dishes. We stopped going out to eat once I found this out, as I would start begging him to cook something. Anything. Seafood, Chinese, or even just a burger. He was good. He taste-tested all of his food, and anything that wasn't sweet would cause a bit of a grimace, and then he would add something or not, and some time later, come into "dining room" (the couch with a table nearby because hotel rooms don't _have_ dining rooms), plop a plate into my lap, hand me a fork and a napkin and wait. He'd sit down with his own tray full of sweets (he almost never actually ate anything he cooked unless it was dessert) and wait. He would wait for me to take the first bite, accompanied by a pleasant _Mmm_ sound in appreciation, and only then would he begin to eat. As he waited for my first bite, he'd _stare_ at me, and that took some getting used to. Finally I asked him one night why he stared that way and he kind of blinked, and then shrugged, and said, "Your food eating noises are quite arousing. I find I have to listen to them for a moment before I can enjoy my food."

His answer, of course, caused a blush like you wouldn't believe, and it was that night – the night he admitted that my "food eating noises" were sexy – that he offered his virginity to me. Yes. If you can believe that, Raiden, L, the most famous detective in the world, was a virgin until I met him. I suppose this makes sense. After all, when does the most famous detective have time to date? I mean, I can't really say that, because we were dating, but you understand. It was the first time I had ever seen him visibly nervous, or excited, about anything. His facial expressions actually _changed_. It was amazing. The sex was, at first, a bit awkward, as any first-time sex is. After a while, though, he got totally into it. Asked me what I liked. Did… pretty much anything I asked. After getting over the initial embarrassment, he seemed only to want to do his best. I had to tell him we didn't have to do anything weird. He wanted to. It was funny, actually. He had no qualms about anything. And by the end of that night, I was exhausted, and completely, utterly satisfied. When we were done, I could do nothing but pant and stare at him until I passed out.

It's amazing the things that can hide so perfectly behind masks that people make for themselves. But enough about my sex life, as that was not the point of this whole thing. This part of my relationship with Raiden was only the calm before the storm. I would have never imagined what could have come next, to try and destroy us. What's also amazing about people is there ability to become so focused on one thing that they sometimes forget what's important to them.


End file.
